Quarantine: Two Months In

Our family has been homebound since the beginning of March. Two months of staying at home. Two months of social distancing. Two months of this new way of doing life.

In previous posts, I shared some of the disappointments, laments, and thoughts I’ve had during these weeks. Today, I thought I’d do something different and just share what I’ve been up to during quarantine. Granted, nothing too exciting has happened, but I find it interesting to hear what other people are up to, perhaps you do too?

Much Remains the Same

The past two months have found me doing a lot of what I would normally do: keeping up with household chores, cooking, supervising my children and their schoolwork, writing, and other ministry related tasks. Some of these normal tasks have grown though. For example, my husband typically travels each week for work so the kids and I don’t make a big deal about meals. Since we have all been at home, I’ve been cooking A LOT! And running the dishwasher! I actually enjoy cooking so I’ve tried new recipes, made some I haven’t made in a long time (blueberry zucchini bread is a family favorite), and even developed a habit of writing out a menu—two weeks worth at a time.

Our church has kept all the same activities and ministries going, just virtually, so I’ve participated in Bible study and small group. My kids remain involved with youth group through virtual prayer and Bible study and weekly youth group gatherings online.

Enjoying the Simple Things

Having to stay at home has certainly afforded me time to enjoy simple things. I’ve taken many walks and hikes. I’ve had lengthy quiet times with the Lord each morning. I’ve enjoy reading books, both fiction and non-fiction. One of my current reads is Help[H]er: A Churchwide Response for Women in Crisis, a book on crisis care ministry in the church. Spring is a favorite time of year and I’ve enjoyed watching spring unfold in all her splendor.

New Projects and Opportunities

One of my mom-isms that I have my children repeat to me out loud is “When God gives you extra time, use it wisely.” With my extra time these past two months, I completed two books projects. One is a book and study on the fear of the Lord. You can read a post inspired by it here. The other is a children’s book. You’ll hear more about that in coming months. I’m excited to see how the Lord will use both of these projects.

At my church, a few of us who are counselors started virtual support groups to help fellow church members think through and process all their emotions and uncertainties during this time. I’ve led one on lament and have found it mutually encouraging. I’ve loved digging back in to the Psalms and walking through the laments with my sisters in Christ.

I’m a wannabe creative and one day hope to learn to draw and paint. A group of ladies at my church meets each week to work on projects together. The past few weeks, I’ve joined in on their virtual calls to see what they’ve been creating. The only creative thing I’ve done during quarantine is a few black-out poems, which I shared with the group. I find these poems both challenging and relaxing at the same time and hope to do more of them.

Family Matters

I’ve enjoyed watching my kids navigate this strange and upside down in history. They’ve taken up working out together—strength training and running. We found an opportunity for them to train for a virtual marathon as well. They enjoy connecting with their friends via video conferencing and my youngest has set up a green screen to make fun backgrounds during his calls. They complain of boredom from time to time, but overall are doing better than I expected. It helps that they have plenty of school work to keep them busy.

Our family loves to laugh together and we’ve had plenty of time to do that these past two months. We’ve also played the board game, Pandemic, which I thought was a fitting game to play. It’s a bit complicated to learn, but I like that you play as a group. Each player works together to help stop the spread of viral outbreaks. One evening, we played some games virtually with another family via video conferencing. It was hilarious!

We’ve also been watching Tim Challies’ new video documentary series, Epic: An Around-the-World Journey through Christian History. We love history and have read many biographies of missionaries over the years. Tim’s journey around the world takes him to many of the places we’ve read about. It’s fascinating and a great activity to enjoy as a family. We’ve also been reading The Hiding Place together as a family. You can read some of my thoughts about it here.

So, that about sums up what I’ve been up to. How about you?

Note: This post contains Amazon affiliate links. To learn more about those links, click here.

Communicating with Your Teen

Do you remember those first early weeks with your newborn—when you were trying to understand what each and every cry meant? Does she need a diaper change? Is he too hot? Bored? Tired? Sick?

Eventually you got it down and figured out more than just what your baby’s cries meant. You also knew that when she rubbed at her face a certain way it was time for a nap or that when he needed a fresh diaper his faced turned a strange shade of red as he cried out. You got to the point where you knew the difference between boredom and irritation, hunger and tiredness.

Then came the two’s and three’s when your child could speak in words but still couldn’t express themselves. Instead of verbalizing to you that she was feeling disappointed or frustrated or over-tired, she threw herself on the floor in the middle of the grocery store.

Or maybe that was just my children…

Fast forward a few years and it seems like you are back to square one. Your child is taller and has more life experience under his belt. His voice isn’t the high-pitched scream of an angry two-year-old, but the deep voice of a soon-to-be man. Your daughter talks and communicates all the time now—just not with you.

You’ve hit the teen years and it’s like you have a different person living under your roof. Someone so new, it’s like you need to learn all over again how to communicate. Just what do those eye rolls mean? Why does he always mutter, “Boomer” under his breath? How can you get your teen to respond to you with more than just “Good” or “Okay” when you ask about his day?

To read the rest of this post, visit Rooted Ministry.

Praying for Your Teen

What are your prayers for your teen?

Perhaps you pray for your teen’s GPA to improve? Or maybe you pray that they would make better friends? Or that they would get into a good college? Maybe you pray that your teen wouldn’t make any of the same mistakes you did?

Or you simply pray that you both would survive adolescence?

Many parents joke (or even groan) about the teenage years, about their teen’s irritable and one-word responses, about their messy bedrooms (I’m guilty of this one!), or about their questionable prospects for the future. Some parents may worry about their teen’s friendship choices or about their grades. Still, others may just throw up their hands in defeat, saying “Nothing I do or say has any effect.”

No doubt, parenting can often be difficult. Hard even. Parenting teens can sometimes feel like a whole other level of hard. But just like all our parenting, we are dependent upon the Lord for wisdom, strength, and grace.

We can’t parent alone; we need the Lord to move and work in the life of our teens…To read the rest of this post, visit For the Family.

Discipling Our Children Through Their Failures

There are many hard and difficult things about parenting. Potty training for starters. The candy aisle at the grocery store. Watching your child suffer from illness. Early adolescence. I could go on.

There's one area of parenting that hits me right in the heart. It's painful to watch and hard to endure. It reminds me of my own heart and my own weak flesh. But it's part of life and something our children need us to disciple them through. What is it? Failure.

We have all failed at something in our life. Perhaps we didn't make the team we tried out for. Maybe we studied hard for a test and failed. Many of us know what it’s like to not get a job or promotion we wanted. Perhaps a ministry we created crashed and burned. Or a dream we long hoped for never came to fruition. In one way or another, we all know what it’s like to fail. 

How we respond to and handle failure is crucial. And that's where our children need our help and counsel. Because they will experience failure in life. It may look different than the failures we’ve experienced. Some of the failures our children experience may seem small, but their response to failure now, as children, will help them when they face bigger failures in the future. For example, helping our children learn to fail a test now will help prepare them when they fail to get the job they want in the future.

Disciple Your Children Through Failure

Teach them to lament their failures: Failure is disappointing. It hurts. Our children may be frustrated with themselves, maybe even angry. They may be sad that they didn’t achieve the thing they worked so hard for. As parents, we ought to expect our children to have an emotional response to failure. Having emotional responses is part of being human. We need to listen to those emotional responses and respond in understanding and empathy. We also need to help our children learn what to do with those emotions. The Bible teaches us to come to God with our emotions. We need to help our children learn to cry out to God in lament. We can model it for them by praying out loud, telling God about the disappointment, sadness, anger, or other feelings associated with a failure. We ask God to be with our children and help them work through it, to be their comfort and peace. We also praise God for who he is and what he has done, acknowledging that he knows and rules over all things. We encourage our children to lament to God on their own as well.

Remind them why we fail: When our children fail at something, it’s a good opportunity to remind them that no one is perfect. Humans are limited and finite. We make mistakes. We forget things. We don’t always get a perfect score. We can affirm the longing they have for perfection because we all have that feeling that things are not as they should be. We can remind our children about the Fall of man and what happened to our first parents. We can also point forward to eternity when all things will be made right.

Help them learn from their failures: There are always lessons to be learned in failure. Often, after a failure has first happened, it’s not the time to teach those lessons. But after their emotions have settled down and they are ready to talk about it, we can help our children think through what happened and consider what they learned from it. Perhaps failing a test reveals a need to study more or study in a different way. Perhaps not making the team means more practice is required. There may also be some lessons to learn about perfectionism, idolatry, and dependence upon God in all things.

Point them to Christ who never failed: Above all, we need to point our children to Christ who was perfect for them. He never failed. He lived the life we could not live and died the death we deserved. When God looks at us, he doesn’t see our sin, but sees Christ’s righteousness. Though we may fail, Christ never will. He will be for us what we can’t be for ourselves.

Failure is a part of life. It’s hard for all of us. But it’s important that we help our children learn and grow through it. They will fail at things; we need to teach them to fail well.

A Prayer for the Heart's of Our Children

As a young mom, I was eager to find parenting advice and help. I read dozens of books, consulted other parents, and quizzed the pediatrician. I was certain there was something out there I hadn't yet tried. And while some of the advice proved useful, most days I simply faced parenting challenges empty-handed and helpless.

Friends of mine and I now joke that when other moms ask us what they should do with their parenting dilemmas, we say we have no idea. After all these years parenting, we've got nothing. In some ways, we are cynical; in others, realistic. The truth is, parenthood is humbling. It brings us all to our knees. We realize raising children is not a math problem we can solve with a simple formula.

These days, I turn to prayer more and more. I cry out to the Lord for help and hope. I ask him for wisdom in my parenting and above all, to work in my children's lives and hearts. 

Perhaps you are facing your own season of helplessness in parenthood. Perhaps you've sought advice, read all the books, and tried each and every solution and method. There are many helpful tips for parenting and certainly many good things we can and should do for our children. Certainly, they need a healthy diet, physical activity, and rest. They need structure and routine, clear rules and consequences. But ultimately, what our children need most is the Spirit to work in their hearts. 

Here's a prayer I have often prayed for my own children, perhaps it can provide encouragement for your own prayers.

A Prayer for the Heart's of Our Children

Father in Heaven,

You are my Father. What a privilege it is to call you that! Through faith in Christ, I have been adopted as your child. I have all the rights and benefits of being part of your family. I can come to you at all times and in all places and tell you what's on my heart. Thank you for making that possible through the death of your Son.

I come to you now with a burdened heart. A weary heart. A heavy heart. Parenting is hard. Just when I think I know what I'm doing, something changes and I need to learn something new. Some days I wonder if I'll ever feel confident in my parenting. But maybe that's the point. Maybe I'm not supposed to be confident in my methods and strategies. Maybe those methods aren't supposed to always "work." Maybe parenting is supposed to keep me on my toes because instead of trusting in what I am doing as a parent, I need to trust in you. Maybe parenting is hard so that I would learn to depend and rely upon you and your Spirit at work in my life and in the life of my children.

Father, I bring my children before you. They are covenant children and enjoy all the rich benefits of being a part of the church, of hearing the word preached each week, of having other adults pour into their lives, of learning and memorizing your word. I pray you would ratify the covenant in them. Bring them from death to life by the power of your Spirit. Open their minds and hearts to see their need for Jesus. Convict them of sin and draw them to repentance. Help them to love you with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength. Be at work in them, refining and shaping them into the image of Christ. Protect their minds and hearts from evil and may they never know a day when they did not know you as Lord of their lives. May Jesus be their greatest treasure.

I pray for my parenting decisions and responses. Help me to parent out of your wisdom. Help me to seek your glory. Help me to speak the truth in love, point my children to Christ, teach and discipline them according to your word, and love them as you have loved me. Help me not to fret, worry, or fear. Help me not to despair. Help me not to react. Instead, help me to trust and rest in you and the power of the gospel at work in me. Help me to be quick to repent, slow to anger, and generous with love and affection. 

Good things happen while we wait. It took time for these precious souls to be knitted in the womb and what joy I felt at their arrival. May I be patient as I wait for the work you are doing in their hearts. Help me to watch with hope and trust. Help me to see and trace the evidence of your grace at work in their hearts. Help me to glory in your goodness and faithfulness in Christ.

Please hear all these cries of my heart. Because of and through Jesus I pray, Amen.

When Motherhood is Lonely

The seasons of motherhood are long and short at the same time.

When my kids were little, I longed for them to grow into a place of greater independence. It seemed like the days of little sleep and constant feedings would never come to an end. But they did. And all too fast.

The same is true of friendships as a mom. When my oldest was first born, there were a couple of other moms in my church who had little ones as well. We started meeting once a week to take our babies out for a walk, to have coffee, or to browse around a store—just something to get out of the house. Then we added "mommy and me" classes to our routine. Before I knew it, several times a week I met with other moms for fellowship and play time with our young children. Our group grew over time and became a highlight of my day. We were all in the same stage with our children so we had a lot to talk about: breastfeeding, nap schedules, development, illness, mommy exhaustion and more. These moms encouraged and carried me through those early days of motherhood. They reminded me of my hope in the gospel and the real source of my strength.

But then things changed. Our kids started school. Those of us who homeschooled our kids were still able to meet on occasion. Some moms returned to work. Eventually, we only saw one another on a special "girls night" we managed to squeeze into our busy schedules.

These days I find motherhood to be a lonely season. I've talked to other moms and discovered it's the same for them as well. Many moms are busy during the day with jobs, homeschooling, or helping out at their children's school. In the afternoons and evenings, they shuttle their kids from one activity to another. Saturday is often filled with sports and other events.

I find myself missing those early days of motherhood when my mom friends and I would sit around someone's living room and watch our kids crawl around and play. I miss having regular contact with people who understand the season of motherhood I'm in—though these days, instead of talking about feeding and sleeping issues, my concerns are braces, puberty, academics, and technology. I miss the spontaneity those early days of motherhood afforded and opportunities for spiritual connection and encouragement. 

It's hard not to want to rush through this current season of life and wish my kids were more independent. Just like those early years, these will past just as quickly. Before I know it, the nest will be empty. I'll have plenty of time then for lunch dates and coffees with friends. So yes, this season is lonely. But just like every season, it will run its course and come to an end. Until then, I will treasure these remaining years with my kids, find joy in serving them, and watch them grow and mature into young men.

But that feeling of loneliness isn't something to be ignored or minimized. I have those feelings because I was made to be in community; God didn't create me to live life on my own. I need my sisters in Christ to pour into me out of the overflow of the Spirit at work in them. I need their gospel encouragement when I am overwhelmed and discouraged in motherhood. I need them to walk alongside me in this journey, pointing me forward when I lose my way, urging me back on the path when I wander, and picking me up when I stumble. What this means is, even though my season of life is busy, I need to make an effort to stay connected. I need to be intentional to seek out spiritual fellowship. I need to seize opportunities when they come. Certainly such fellowship will not be a frequent as it once was. It will likely not be spontaneous. And it will take effort and sacrifice. But I need it. Perhaps even more than I realize.

If motherhood has taught me anything, it's that things change. Motherhood is a season in itself but is also made up of seasons. And as sluggish as those seasons are in the moment, they pass by in a flash. I want to value and cherish every moment before it's gone. But I can't do it alone. No matter how intense or busy a season is, I need to find ways to stay connected to others. I'm better for it— which means my children are better for it as well.

What about you? Have you found particular seasons of motherhood to be lonelier than others?