I often tell people that in our family, I am Eeyore and my husband is Tigger.
There is an episode of Winnie the Pooh I watched once when my kids were little where Tigger convinced Eeyore to add a Tigger tail to his own tail so he could be more like Tigger. It didn't work out so well. When I saw it, I said, "That's me! That's my life!"
In all seriousness, my life is often quite chaotic and I feel like I am an Eeyore being dragged around by a Tigger. Life is fast faced. I juggle more plates than seems possible. And in recent months, it has never been more so.
My husband broke his ankle right after Christmas, which required surgery, and weeks and weeks of not walking. Add to that a house on the market to sell. Homeschool. New ministry projects. Speaking engagements. The kids activities. Helping my husband get around.
By nature, I don't like chaos. I like things slow and manageable. I like to have time to think. I need preparation before moving on to the next thing. Chaos is overwhelming to me. I want to run from it. I resist it. But God knows what I need and in his good purposes for me, he often puts me right in the middle of chaos. It is in those uncomfortable places where God does his work in us. In those places that we resist is often where we really need to be. This is where we are stretched and molded and shaped into the likeness of Christ.
In my own chaos, I have found Christ to be sufficient. That doesn't mean he takes away the chaos, though sometimes he does. More often than not though, he calls me to do more than seems humanly possible and then provides just what I need to do it. He even somehow magnifies my time.
It is in the chaos where I see his grace at work. I see his glory on display and am humbled. But above all, he gives me peace that is beyond comprehension (Phil 4:7). Gospel peace. Peace from knowing that he rules and reigns over all things. Peace from knowing that no detail of my life is left to chance. Peace that comes from resting in the truth of who Christ is and what he has done for me. And peace because I know his love for me is complete and unwavering.
It is also in the chaos of life where I see more clearly that life isn't about me or my comfort or my strength. It's not about how organized I am. It's not about how well I excel at spiritual disciplines or how much I believe in God's promises. It's really about God's good purposes, God's time, and God's plan. It's about him using all things for my ultimate spiritual good. It's about him stripping me of my reliance on self, my idols of comfort and control, and my well constructed plans for my life. It's about humbling me and exalting the work of Christ in my life.
Chaos is frightening for many of us. It's overwhelming. It magnifies our helplessness. So we run from it or try to manage it. But the truth is, some of us really need chaos in our life because it shows us our need for Christ. It forces us to turn to him in humble reliance upon his grace. And in the shadow of our Savior's wings, there's no safer, more peaceful place to be.
"Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him" (Psalm 62:1 NIV).
